Wednesday, 18 March 2009

TV Series

Goodness parang nagiging ala-TV series na itong love life ko.
Naman naman.
Time can only tell which is which..
for now i have to be honest with myself.
Live in the present.
pray...

Mahirap pero Masaya!

Grabe ang hirap.
matinding patience and understanding at TIIS talaga.
pero i cant deny that i am really really happy.
Sobrang looking forward to end this year right!
Gusto ko nang mag december!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9 months pa!
goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Looking Forward

Im still in the middle of understanding why its seems to be just a bliss then there's hurt and pain...


And I just realized:
that angst does not come from God
that He is at work in both of our lives
that He hears me and my cries
that I am in pain because he is... and I'm sharing it with him.

And so the song goes
"We need to come to Him and see Him as He is. And that's true worship. Because in the midst of that, all securities are made clear and all fears are relieved".

God is Love.
God Loves me.
He taught me how to Love
And I am happy because I am loving in its truest form.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Options

For just a few days. My faith was tested.
My quiet time with the Lord is not as its usual.
I was like a kid na nagtatantrums.
Gusto ko lang naman ilabas.
Na para bang Lord gusto ko to eh, ni-lead mo ko dito tapos kukunin mo sakin?
Pero mali. maling mali.
Dapat si God. si God muna.

Right now, I guess the Lord is showing me different options.
Na medyo mag ingat ingat din ako at huwag masyadong mag paka Tan-ga.
He's saying to me that I should strengthen my faith.
I was about to be blinded.
In any way, he's not closing any doors about us.
I woke up realizing that I should be believing in my prayers.
It may not be answered right now, but someday it will be. Just believe.
This gave me hope.
And I know right there and there. I'm about to be back on my track.
Di ko man maintindihan.
I will continue to pray. pray and pray.
I should not stop.
God loves me soo much, more than I know.
He knows what works for us.
But I should also be helping myself.
I know right now, in his situation, he needs me to be strong.. I will be strong.
At the same time, not letting myself to be so into him.
I should be on guard.
I should not let the enemy play around with my thoughts.
Believe. Believe.
I am learning. and I am still a work in progress.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

How to end this

Ayoko ng magalit sa sarili ko.
This time its different.
It's not always what I want.
I'm beginning to be too selfish
and I'm being punished because of it.
Ayoko ng icarry yung burden na to.
Masyado na syang masakit at mabigat.
Nawawala na ako sa ayos.
I need to be strong to let go.
And I never thought na ganito siya kahirap.
Akala ko kaya to. Kaya I took the risk.
Sobrang hirap pala.
Sana di na lang ako nagmatigas.
Di ko maintindihan.
Sana ako na lang yung malapit ng mamatay.
Sana ako na lang.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Hanging by the Moment

Ngayon ko lang na-experience yung every minute equates to a thousand years of longing.
Every heart beat is deafening.
Why Lord?
Pls allow me to talk to him.
I am so worried.
Ang hirap ng nandito ka lang. Wala kang magawa.
Help me Lord to lift this up to you.
I need to be strong and be brave to whatever happens now.
Wherein there's a million possibilities that may arise.
Help me Lord to be strong.
I long to say and hold his hands that everything is okay.
I am here.
I long to say "What were you thinking!!".
Ang sakit sa puso na nandito ka lang, nagaantay ng balita.
Please be okay.
All I can do is pray, and hope for the best.
I should not entertain negative thoughts. Be hopeful.
Lord, help me to have hope. Full of hope.
I dont understand Lord.
Help me to understand.
My overthinking me is running again. I dont want to think.
I am waiting.
Waiting.
And its painfully killing my heart.

Please Lord have pity to your servant... crying out to you.
More than anyone you know my heart.
Help me to accept whatever your will is.
As of now, please.. I humbly ask your grace to allow me to talk to him.
My heart is troubled not until I get to talk to him.
To hear from him that he is okay.

Forgive me of my sins. Forgive me of my transgressions.
Purify my heart God. Purify my thoughts.
As I give praise and thanks to your holy name.
I love you Lord. You are our God.

I will be forever grateful to all of the things that is happening in my life.
You are indeed working and alive in me.
Thank you. Thank you.
Feel free to use me to give glory to your Name.
I am yours forever Lord.
Forever and ever.

In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Hey YOU

Please don't feel na ikaw yung tinutukoy ko dito.
please wag tayo masyadong magfeeling. okay?

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