ano ba to lagi akong naghahabol ng oras ngayon. haha! parang all of a sudden ang bilis ng oras. Im not complaining. I love it nga e. feeling ko productive ako. haha! yun nga lang, priorities tlga. hmm.. lemme see. eh, mukhang sa natitira kong free time mas nagsspend pa din ako sa facebook e. siguro adjusting period pa din? before kasi i was like almost 24hrs online. and it was nakakasawa. super naappreciate ko na i cant surf sa work ko ngayon. hahaha! o dba wala ng paragraph paragraph tong blog ko. haha! i wanna sleep na kasi. i got sipon pa. supeeeeerr ang daming ngyari.
para bang excited palagi akong matapos na yung araw, then i want the time to stop pagdating ng gabi. hahaha!
ok outlet outlet..
emo dump alert:
-i was asar my back pay got hold.
-sipon!!
-yohooo lapit na weekend
-darn thurs!
-pansinin mo ko!! hahahaha!
-hindi ba pwede laging weekend? haha!
-I LOVE MY LIFE!!
i miss blogging! im gonna blog real sooooon!
for now am gonna sleep. frickin' tired. ...zzzz....
I got soo pissed when my ka-dgroup (small group BS) was complaining about life. I was like, "buti ka nga may life".
Buti ka nga you are a working progess of God.. Na nae-experience mo yung life na nasyo si God.
Na meron ka pang "chance" na magbago.
Na nararamdaman mo yung fruits of the spirit
Ang babaw.. kung ayaw mo ng life mo, sana binigay mo nalng dun sa tao na gusto pang mabuhay.
I am preparing for my GB.. pero after what happened, i realized, what's the point. Even your loved ones can be taken away. All of it can be taken away from u.
Only God is the ever consistent, permanent here in this world.
Sya lang talaga..
Why attach urself so much with someone? Kung darating lang din pala yung time na mawawala sya..
Everything seems to be pointless..
Mas mabuti pang si God lang tlga..
Come this end of this year... and nothing happened..
Lord please close my heart.. not until u desires it..
And just like that
the process to change
the hope to be better
the future
the possibilities
just like that
and its all gone...
everything seems to be pointless
words that are left unsaid will always be left unsaid
life is short
and ull never get to grasp it
until it affects you
im so sorry
with all my heart i am hoping u are in a better place
I miss u... I will always remember u..
Goodness parang nagiging ala-TV series na itong love life ko.
Naman naman.
Time can only tell which is which..
for now i have to be honest with myself.
Live in the present.
pray...
Grabe ang hirap.
matinding patience and understanding at TIIS talaga.
pero i cant deny that i am really really happy.
Sobrang looking forward to end this year right!
Gusto ko nang mag december!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9 months pa!
goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im still in the middle of understanding why its seems to be just a bliss then there's hurt and pain...
And I just realized:
that angst does not come from God
that He is at work in both of our lives
that He hears me and my cries
that I am in pain because he is... and I'm sharing it with him.
And so the song goes
"We need to come to Him and see Him as He is. And that's true worship. Because in the midst of that, all securities are made clear and all fears are relieved".
God is Love.
God Loves me.
He taught me how to Love
And I am happy because I am loving in its truest form.
For just a few days. My faith was tested.
My quiet time with the Lord is not as its usual.
I was like a kid na nagtatantrums.
Gusto ko lang naman ilabas.
Na para bang Lord gusto ko to eh, ni-lead mo ko dito tapos kukunin mo sakin?
Pero mali. maling mali.
Dapat si God. si God muna.
Right now, I guess the Lord is showing me different options.
Na medyo mag ingat ingat din ako at huwag masyadong mag paka Tan-ga.
He's saying to me that I should strengthen my faith.
I was about to be blinded.
In any way, he's not closing any doors about us.
I woke up realizing that I should be believing in my prayers.
It may not be answered right now, but someday it will be. Just believe.
This gave me hope.
And I know right there and there. I'm about to be back on my track.
Di ko man maintindihan.
I will continue to pray. pray and pray.
I should not stop.
God loves me soo much, more than I know.
He knows what works for us.
But I should also be helping myself.
I know right now, in his situation, he needs me to be strong.. I will be strong.
At the same time, not letting myself to be so into him.
I should be on guard.
I should not let the enemy play around with my thoughts.
Believe. Believe.
I am learning. and I am still a work in progress.
Ayoko ng magalit sa sarili ko.
This time its different.
It's not always what I want.
I'm beginning to be too selfish
and I'm being punished because of it.
Ayoko ng icarry yung burden na to.
Masyado na syang masakit at mabigat.
Nawawala na ako sa ayos.
I need to be strong to let go.
And I never thought na ganito siya kahirap.
Akala ko kaya to. Kaya I took the risk.
Sobrang hirap pala.
Sana di na lang ako nagmatigas.
Di ko maintindihan.
Sana ako na lang yung malapit ng mamatay.
Sana ako na lang.
Ngayon ko lang na-experience yung every minute equates to a thousand years of longing.
Every heart beat is deafening.
Why Lord?
Pls allow me to talk to him.
I am so worried.
Ang hirap ng nandito ka lang. Wala kang magawa.
Help me Lord to lift this up to you.
I need to be strong and be brave to whatever happens now.
Wherein there's a million possibilities that may arise.
Help me Lord to be strong.
I long to say and hold his hands that everything is okay.
I am here.
I long to say "What were you thinking!!".
Ang sakit sa puso na nandito ka lang, nagaantay ng balita.
Please be okay.
All I can do is pray, and hope for the best.
I should not entertain negative thoughts. Be hopeful.
Lord, help me to have hope. Full of hope.
I dont understand Lord.
Help me to understand.
My overthinking me is running again. I dont want to think.
I am waiting.
Waiting.
And its painfully killing my heart.
Please Lord have pity to your servant... crying out to you.
More than anyone you know my heart.
Help me to accept whatever your will is.
As of now, please.. I humbly ask your grace to allow me to talk to him.
My heart is troubled not until I get to talk to him.
To hear from him that he is okay.
Forgive me of my sins. Forgive me of my transgressions.
Purify my heart God. Purify my thoughts.
As I give praise and thanks to your holy name.
I love you Lord. You are our God.
I will be forever grateful to all of the things that is happening in my life.
You are indeed working and alive in me.
Thank you. Thank you.
Feel free to use me to give glory to your Name.
I am yours forever Lord.
Forever and ever.
In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen
