Thursday, 27 September 2007

Death, (screw u Mr. Palawan)

This is my email to 2 of my friends.

Hi lynn, Hi na rin ulit kats

AH for Lynn, my uncle just died last night 8:45pm. Sa bulacan na kami ni mama natulog pagkagaling sa PGH. At dahil putol putol tulog ko para bang may nakahanda nang email message sa utak ko. I planned to email na rin punky and others kaso.. mm.. i dunno.

Di ko lam ang sensitive ko pala ngayon.

d moment na sinabi ng doctor na wala na si uncle doods tas umiyak na si Auntie mommy (wife nya) sympre napaiyak na din ako. At that time naiiyak ako kasi feeling ko I failed them. Para bang wala akong nagawa to comfort them. Kasi dba tayo we always pray together. Yung mga tipong nung panahon nung student patrol etc. AT that time kasi para bang nagaantay na lang kami ng go signal umiyak. We didn't pray like we do. Siguro kanya kanya. I mean nung time na rin na yun kasi para bang there's a nudge in me to initiate and encourage everyone pray. Pero wala akong ginawa. Kaya nung moment na namatay siya, I somehow felt guilty. Na sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na sana may miracle pa na nangyari. I just stood there, unable to speak any words and pinipigilan ang pag-iyak.

Mama has been all teary eye. Dahil nandyan tito ko dinaan nalang lahat sa joke. I thought I'll be all right.As in normal. Kung baga eh relative lang naman ako. Pero a phone call kanina changes everything.

A man named "Mr. Palawan" a.k.a Mr. Insensitive (I'm already cursing him right now!) called looking for mama. EH wala nasa punerarya nga.
"Eh tumawag kanina umalis ulit." SO he's trying to say na tinataguan ni mama.
So sinabi ko with emphasis namatay po kasi uncle ko kagabi. ANd he's like not listening.
Then I asked "may iiwan ba kayong message."
Aba sabi "eh bat iniimbistigahan mo ako". wuhaattt??? (actually para syang may intsik na may bumbay accent, so di ko siya maintindihan) inulit ko ulit kung nasan si mama. & i told him na ako yung anak ni mama. Aba biglang bumait.
At sinabi na "yan dapat sinasabi ang totooo". Put** talga oh! At talagang I was crying na namatay nga yung uncle ko. blah blah blah.
click

after that call I was bursting into tears. Para bang now lang nag-hit sakin na wala na nga uncle ko. Putik kaka-highlight ko ba naman sa pesteng Mr. Palawan na yon eh di ba naman ako matamaan, And I'm actually crying right now. Ewan ko ba bat ba ako umiiyak eh di naman kami super close. kung baga sa family nila close ako pero si uncle doods lang yung di masyado gets?
Eun. sige un lang. ligo nako, baboosh.

(Ayoko na kasing gumawa ng new version of the story for this blog, that's why I copied and paste it here na lang)

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Blogging Is NOT for the WEAK

A personal blog is like a Journal, a Diary.. etc. It's more on dealing with your experiences, emotions, feelings.. yeah your EMOtional SIDE! When does doing it ever makes you WEAK, huh? It even feels great after you release your rage or anything like that. I don't supresss my emotions inside. Ayokong mag ka-heart attack noh. & I want my future kids to read this...

Hey this is my personal space! So I can write good and bad things here.

Yes ako'y galit sa sinabi mo. I mean who ever here jumps for joy when you call someone WEAK? Lam mo problema (I know ur gonna read this)... I mean, I just said helloo di ka pa nga nagsosorry tapos you bombarded me with my flaws?? Wow. galing! clap! clap! What a way to resolve things. I mean I can always approach u and patch things up.. but NO... I didn't. Why? Eh how will I know that you're sorry?

I mean EFFORT is the WORD! SO magagalit ka kung bakit ko pinost dito?kasi po, pansin mo ngyon ko lang pinost? kasi po nung wala naman akong sinusulat dito na "ganito" eh ano.. u asked the most famous question ---> ano bang gusto mong gawin ko?

SO ITO SINASABI KO NA. HAPPY?

And I never called you a weak or anything. Grabe... di ka nga nambubugbog, verbally abused naman ako. Do u want me to make u remember it?

tama na tama. Sorry if I need to this. Pero it's for u din. If we surpass this, then dba... tayo nga. I know naiisip mo rin yan.

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Photo Moments

For these past few 3 weeks, I've been with my whole-enitre family. As in puro gatherings & pasyal. haha. I'll post about it maybe tomorrow.

For the 1st time ever, I found myself browsing just right now in my friends' pictures @ friendster. And I'm kinda shocked why I didn't have a copy of this specific picture (I'm the kind of person kasi who somehow provides the pictures in every occasion that's why I'm shocked. gets? hehe)

So here's the picture & did I say I loooove it?! okay.. I love it! I miss those times....

This "unedited" picture was taken during our galera getaway last april 2007 (look for me, look for me, look for me. I'm the ugliest! whahaha!)

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Kid's New Toy... Digicam!

One thing I noticed to kids nowadays is that they are really exposed to these gadgets (digicams, videocams, ipod etc). And it's like they see these as not a "techy gadget" (u know... expensive, classy, cool... handle it with extreme care! those things) and it's not a TOY!!!!Gad!!

One of my 5yrs old cousin is literally addict to these new found toys! 24 hrs mangungulit. "Ate picture... ate video... at sayaw ako... ate "

"hoy naku akin na yan!" well she grabbed my cam and took a picture of me. I was like wahhhhh!! ingatan mo yan!! (buti nalang ala pa akong SLR). Pero what I like about her is, she knows how to project!! (haha may dagdag na sa models ko).. Pero they got all tantrums if di nila nagamit ang "toy" nila. (talaga naman)

Well most of my kiddie cousins had their entire life documented. No wonder these kids are so exposed to techy stuff.

This is my cousin Xyline's photo when I told her to pose

Isn't she a cutie?

And this is Bj & cuz Aloissa

[Yeah! Be a tiger!rarr!]

& This is my cutie Xilca

[I can't feel u dear, emote! yeah!that's good]

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

I don't know what the title for this one

To end the Story... here it is.
It's more on about "the" job (eck). Well, I'm actually way over it right now. I hope this post won't be boring & way not interesting.

The Job: It's a training for a managerial position. (whoa!)

& I'm a fresh grad!! I mean, yeah I should be grateful because I was given an opportunity to prove myself that I could do the job. I mean they won't invite me if if... u know what I mean.

Uhm, after the exam & initial interview, I got myself reflecting all about it the whole day because the final interview will be 4pm pa. SO then I prayed & prayed. I somehow ask why do I always end up in a job in sales (the word really gives me jitters or a negative vibe/aura etc. I just don't like sales even if I'll get filthy rich in that field of work). Well, in the end I said to myself I'll just do my best... and let's see what will happen.

It's really really a great opportunity. I need to put myself together, be prepared & ace that final interview. (At least I thought I'll gonna do good).

So well, uhm, I think I sucked! Err.. She (the interviewer) never really like asks me. She did but like 1 or 2 questions. Well (it's humiliating! I mean sharing it to the world), uhm, she'll refer me nalang daw to the support unit ( I think it's the marketing unit but more on customer relations daw). Well, that solved the problem, coz I never really like working in sales. (she's good ha, she saw in me na yoko sa sales). But why do I feel I'm being rejected or why do i feel down & dumb?!

So this is where the part of running-towards-my-bf-for-comfort comes in.

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Bo's Words

The continuation of the Story :

Looking back at it right now, para bang natatawa na lang ako. (I looked like an idiot!) So this post won't be as intense as before.

I was walking my way to Greenbelt. I don't want to go home. I don't want my mom to see me like a cry baby. The last thing I want in this world, is for them to feel that I failed them. (drama, pero its true)

I walked straight to power books & grabbed some Bo Sanchez's books. (who the hell is this Bo Sanchez?) I heard my friends talked about him. (what is he a priest?). So I read on. It's funny di pala pari si Bo. He's the first Catholic preacher who's like... well he speaks in his books like a born again christian. This interests me.

To be honest Bo's words calms be down. I mean the emotions are still there, but I'm smiling na. I can't believe a guy like him still exists. Imagine, he's married at the age of 32 & he was a virgin for 32 yrs! (whoa!) He's wife is so damn lucky! I sat there at Power books for I think an hour or 2. If only I could sleep there & read all his works, but of course I can't. After finishing 1 book, I decided it's time to hit the road.

I went home with a different perspective (i guess). In a way it's different from the moment I walked down in that underpass. I'm confused. I somehow asked na di ako matanggap, then iiyak iyak ako ngayon. (weird! this part will be shared sa next na post ko).

I recommend everyone to read Bo's books! Manipis lang siya (so dont worry for those who aren't bookworms) But this I will tell that u could really relate to him. I mean in a way, he can reach out to u. I'm curious wherein he mentioned that there's 1 book where he shared his sexual addiction. (hmm.. di nga siya pari)

(oh this is not what I read. I just want u to see how he looks like )

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Hard to Hate

-(sept.12)-
I guess I don't have the energy right now to type here in details what happened to me because I've been shouting and narrating it in my mind for the last, i dunno, 3 hrs?!

I would blog about what happened this day in different parts coz it's freakin long, & I don't like posting a novel here.
1st part:

Gist of this post's story? I was rejected by a telecommunication company (in a way, it will be explained on the next parts). Ouch! I know. I run to my BF (he's office is along Ayala ave.) for comfort &... he didn't respond in the way the he should. After telling him what happened (he's eyes were all around obviously not listening but denies it to death. )

"So?" (asking him for his reaction coz he's like really not listening)
"May Sev1 pa kasi ako eh" (he's work)

At that very moment I wanted to kick his crotch, punch his face until he bleeds and asks for mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But of course I didn't, instead I cried (just a bitsy tear) and mustered the word "What??!?!" (play this scene like 10 times!!! well hello! I didn't came running here to hear that!)

After that scenario, I did my famous "walk-out" then he naturally held me back but still I resist... making it more dramatic (eww!)
Not noticing during that act my tears came running down FAST!! It was only that time the word rejection hit me. It hurts!! And this jerk whom I love didn't even have the slightest idea what he did. ( What a jerk! I know, right?). Yes I have the right to be all angry about it. And the next thing I know, my voice is getting louder na pala. & he keeps on saying sorry sorry sorry (The kind of sorry wherein he say it because he just wants u to shut up & didn't even mean it! for real!!) So I couldn't help but be angry pa. So I make da-bog on my way down to the tunnel/underpass, not getting the justice I deserve.

As I walk and cry, I wanted to text him "break na tayo" or "i hate u". But I didn't. I know for sure that later on I'll miss him and wala, wala rin. And that makes me sick. I can't even hate him. I hate him at that moment. Ano man lang ba kasi yung words of comfort dba? geez!!!!! Isn't that hard to do?

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Heroes Season 2

I didn't know that Season 2 will be released this Sept. 24!! haha.. I'm not updated anymore.. anyway got this video when I passed by palaboy's page.

Preview of Heroes Season 2

Thursday, 6 September 2007

The New Ipod Nano & Ipod Touch

Apple emailed me this :) And I wanna share it with u guys, especially those who are music lover like me :)
*I just used "printscreen" to post it here... my adobe suddenly experienced errors etc. {need to install a new one}

If you want guys visit the Apple store

New Ipod Nano



New Ipod Touch


Video of the Day

I was blog hopping and come across this video.
Saw this video from Aiza's

I can't help but mm.. react(?), in such a way that I can't help but post this here.
Good thing I'm not that tall to be a model. hehe
It's way tooo embarassing!


Monday, 3 September 2007

Coincidence or God's Will?

Okay I just got back from my interview and I'm having uhh.. what I called "post-interview-syndrome", where I get tarantated and I evaluate what I did and and try to ask everybody's opinion about my endless questions.

In d internet it says Mktg Asst. but when I went there it's for Junior Bus. Dev't Exec (more on accounts). oooohh accounts! I told myself before that I want to be in Accounts, though the thought of I'll be in SALES! Come on! {i dont like d word sales}

I think exposure is okay since clients are ad agencies and other media companies. I get to meet officers or the "bossing" of target companies-slash-clients. Well, I guess its a good start to build networks in this kind of industry. And also it's a good training ground, though the location of this company and the office building... I dunno... am I being reasonable? I'm judging the company by the way the building and office looks? And oh, field work... no tsekot. Pano yun client presentation MRT? And scary talaga yung area. Oh it's in kapitolyo pala. Residential siya.

Why do I always feel that I did good in a Sales position interview? Why didn't I have this kind of mindset when I was interviewed by companies I'm dying to be part with (those posts are not related in sales) ? {I was pessimistic before}

Is it because God wants me to have a career in sales? Or is it mere coincidence? How will I know if it's God's will?

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