Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Hard to Hate

I guess I don't have the energy right now to type here in details what happened to me because I've been shouting and narrating it in my mind for the last, i dunno, 3 hrs?!

I would blog about what happened this day in different parts coz it's freakin long, & I don't like posting a novel here.
1st part:

Gist of this post's story? I was rejected by a telecommunication company (in a way, it will be explained on the next parts). Ouch! I know. I run to my BF (he's office is along Ayala ave.) for comfort &... he didn't respond in the way the he should. After telling him what happened (he's eyes were all around obviously not listening but denies it to death. )

"So?" (asking him for his reaction coz he's like really not listening)
"May Sev1 pa kasi ako eh" (he's work)

At that very moment I wanted to kick his crotch, punch his face until he bleeds and asks for mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But of course I didn't, instead I cried (just a bitsy tear) and mustered the word "What??!?!" (play this scene like 10 times!!! well hello! I didn't came running here to hear that!)

After that scenario, I did my famous "walk-out" then he naturally held me back but still I resist... making it more dramatic (eww!)
Not noticing during that act my tears came running down FAST!! It was only that time the word rejection hit me. It hurts!! And this jerk whom I love didn't even have the slightest idea what he did. ( What a jerk! I know, right?). Yes I have the right to be all angry about it. And the next thing I know, my voice is getting louder na pala. & he keeps on saying sorry sorry sorry (The kind of sorry wherein he say it because he just wants u to shut up & didn't even mean it! for real!!) So I couldn't help but be angry pa. So I make da-bog on my way down to the tunnel/underpass, not getting the justice I deserve.

As I walk and cry, I wanted to text him "break na tayo" or "i hate u". But I didn't. I know for sure that later on I'll miss him and wala, wala rin. And that makes me sick. I can't even hate him. I hate him at that moment. Ano man lang ba kasi yung words of comfort dba? geez!!!!! Isn't that hard to do?


claire said...

aww.. i feel you, shaula.. i've been to that situation before too.. getting rejected and all.. but you're right for not texting your bf about "breaking up" because you are angry.. we shouldn't say, speak or text antything when we are angry because we will surely regret those words after a while.. just stay calm :)

shaula0pink said...

tnx claire.. I hope this would the last one. (the rejection thingy)

i hate those moments when u want to hate someone but u just can't.

waking up this morning make me realize how silly I was. but I was really angry, sad, hurt at that time. I guess I'm learning, I used to always break up with him when we hav our fights.. (though i think i txted him.. i guess it was awful except for im not breaking up.. hehe)

BB_ANNE said...

been there done that...I don't know ha but in my case before i knew that something was wrong..lam mo na intuition...if the person whom you love direly needs your comfort being "busy" is not an excuse.just a simple word to show he cares will do. what do you think?

shaula0pink said...

bb_anne ur heaven sent! haha..

that is exactly what I'm trying to say to him!! And I hope he'll realize it kagad.

Most guys tlga are insensitive. and i think he's waiting for me to approach him first. ok lang naman sakin though I wouldn't know if he realized what he did if I do that.

Anonymous said...

Ouch. As in, OUCH!

Nangyari na rin ang ganyang scenario sa buhay ko, sa iba't-ibang, uhm, past girlfriends, sa iba't-ibang pagkakataon.

It's either na nagsabay lang talaga kayo ng "bad timing," o ewan.

Tingnan ko muna sa continuation ng kwento mo.

sheena said...

aww shao..eto na diguro yung sign. you'll find yor place...

badtrip naman yun si kiko.anu ba yun! hay kelangan nya bumawi sayo.bigtime!

shaula0pink said...

to shen.. naku for sure magagalit un pag nabasa nya tong post na to.

sign? naguguluhan na ako sa mga sign. minsan ayoko nang tingnan ang mga signs.. feeling ko i just complicate things.. sigh! eh kung nasa states lang tayo hehe.. hirap kasi maghanap ng trabaho dito sa pinas.

shaula0pink said...

mmm.. ano naman ang iyong opinyon? ganon ba talga ang mga kalalakihan sa panahon ngayon?

punkiliciousss said...

we need to talk about em working boys soon! wahahahaha! i feel for you. but kinda like i feel for him too. basta, marami rin palang natuturo si markie-mark sa kin ukol sa pacencia! wahehehe!

shaula0pink said...

oi! that i need to hear!! :)

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